The Train

My Dad died on March 4th 2011. From Cambodia, I am reflecting on death and the experience of life, and my perspective on this whole earthly exixstence. I hope you will all enjoy this blog. At least it may challenge you to view our existence here in the light of God's grace. Enjoy!

"The Train"

by

Tim Jones

Life is a train that moves on down the tracks and keeps a very demanding schedule. This train has no deviations and no layovers; it does not stop for other trains to pass. It has the right-of-way over everything else. No one can stop it nor slow it down. This train, we call "Time," is a ruthless taskmaster carrying us all forward at what appears to be an increasing velocity toward our own date with Death. I am very thankful that the Conductor of my train is the Lord Jesus Christ. And when I get to my final destination, He will be in charge of managing all the arrangements for my departure. He will call my name and I will go forward to take his hand. As the train doors open He winks at me and chuckles, as any good father would who has a secret that he knows his child will love. He nods, smiles and gestures me to follow Him. One step outside the train and I am stunned into silence and tears fill my eyes with the overwhelming beauty around me. Before me is place that is so alive with faith, hope and love that I feel soiled if I have to spend another moment on this train that I thought I would never want to leave. I walk into a world that is outside of time and space, a place of joy and rest, a place where the train of time that I just stepped off of is a relic in a Heavenly museum. People walk by and comment, "How could our lives have been so controlled by such a gloomy and sullen task master as the train?"

Jesus clears His throat to get my attention. His smile radiates love and acceptance as He spreads His arms wide, encompassing all that I see around me, and shouts, "You are home, my son." Then He gets down on one knee, holds my face in His scarred hands, His eyes piercing my soul, and whispers gently, "You are home." As he smiles, I feel His nature permeate my whole being with understanding and joy. It is all-consuming, like a star exploding in pure joy. I understand, not as I came to an understanding on earth through years of study and struggle, but all at once, in a moment. It is He who has taught me this in an instant and I feel small in His world, now become my world. Yet at the same time, I feel like I am home. Like everything I ever knew before was just a room with no window, in which I had been kept in for far too long. I am home. There is a knowing that everything is going to be good, not just for a short time until the next bad thing happens, but FOREVER! I am home! I shout it out, "I am home!" And a multitude of brothers and sisters I have yet to meet share my joy and thunder out praise, joining me in laughter and celebration at the birth of my own understanding. He looks at me and simply laughs at my puzzled expression and wonder and says, "The best is yet to come. The best will always be before you forever. Welcome Home my son!" As I walk with Him, I realize that forever He will always be with me...Heaven simply vibrates with the intensity of Him. Everything is in perfect tune with Him. I get the distinct impression that the propaganda on earth of what Heaven is like, well...it is going to be blown away by the reality. He looks back at me and looks at me like someone who can't wait to tell a secret, but doesn't want to ruin the surprise. If discovering Him in his infinite beauty will take forever, and will be anything close to what I experienced a few moments ago, then I am sure glad I won't sleep.

I turn the corner of a golden street that looks like spun glass and watch Jesus take the throne at the right hand of God. The Holy Spirit joins them and the Triune God speaks His love for all gathered. It is like a deep, powerful wave of all that is good, like the best feelings of happiness and joy you ever felt, only so intense I feel I will burst with the sheer consummation of my soul by this love that slams into and through me. Along with millions of others I fall to my knees in what I can only describe as complete and utter awe of who God is. If this is the Fear of the Lord, what was I ever "afraid" of? I understand how the Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. I mean, who can stand against this type of goodness? Who could ever not bow before the enormity of His love? I could stay here, in this moment, just looking at God and having Him loving me forever...

I now begin to understand worship. Oh to do it all over again and to be able to know what I know now and take it back to earth. To bring this joy to my friends. Then I sense God's wisdom burst over me as He imparts the truth of His thoughts. "Tim," he says, "I already sent this Joy to earth. "People refused to accept Him, my own Son. Truly those who hated Him there would abhor, and fear, Him here in Heaven. Separation from me is the goodness of my judgement. There is no evil in me. Even in my judgement for their sins, my nature is expressed. You see, they would not be happy here, for they would no be able to enter into this joy you feel. This would be a world of fear and torment and isolation forever. To be with me, without being my children, would be torture for them. My judgement is good and pure and loving. They will be apart from me forever, since they refused the offer of becoming my sons and daughters."

I drop to my face in understanding as I realize that I had always thought of judgement as somehow being bad. But it doesn't line up with God's nature. In a blink of an eye, so many stories from the Old Testament make sense. It was not the evil God, but the loving God in everything. It was the shortsightedness of man caused us to misinterpret God's movement throughtout history. So much to learn, and it has only been my first hour in Heaven!